In Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink” Power of thinking without thinking M Gladwell (2012), Gottman states that there are four major emotional reactions that are destructive to a relationship: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt.
When one sees certain expressions, listens to the tone of voice or hears specific language besides them being defensive, stonewalling (google search stonewalling as it provides an in-depth description that gives exceptional clarity) , or using degrading language then one will know what the others are truly feeling about you.
It is possible to further uncover their true intentions by asking the right questions at the right time, under the right conditions for the right reasons.
Subsequently, one can identify the true situation using the HIM lie, deception detection and critical situational interviewing paying attention to the 4 indicators mentioned above.
Go to the Search option of Utah University and insert ”the four horsemen” by John Gottman to get a better various opinions on the concept – it is an amazing eye-opener.